Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Can You Find "Mr. Right" online? Are you still looking?

What Are the Odds of Finding Mr. Right Online?     The odds of finding your “soul-mate” online are a lot better than you may think. It doesn't happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.   As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.   Some believe that ,the old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess” is no longer true; and why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and money…not to mention lip burn.  To me it may diminish the number of frogs that you have to kiss, but the chance of you finding the right one for you on the first meeting with someone you meet online is not true either.   These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:   (1)  There is a wide range of men to choose from. You aren’t limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.   (2)  You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. You’ll even see a picture of him.   (3)  You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.   (4)  Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
    Comparison Chart of  The Dating Sites

 ************************ The Advantages of Online Dating for Women     In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.   There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.   If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.   Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:   (1)  You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.   (2)  You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No more…the world is your oyster. You can go through hundreds…even thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.   (3)  The “safety factor” is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.

 ********************* Online Dating Safety for Women     Online dating can be a fun and certainly a rewarding experience for women of all ages. Maintaining your safety while doing it is simply a combination of using common sense and exercising good judgment. Online safety rules are the same as real world safety rules.   You wouldn’t give your name, address and phone number to a strange man that you met in a bar or on the street so you should never do that online either. Play it safe. Get to know this man who could turn out to be Prince Charming before you give out any information that could make it possible for him or others to trace you. Don’t tell a stranger exactly where you work. Say that you are a legal secretary (if that’s what you are) for a mid-sized law firm….not that you work for Brown, Smith and Jones Attorneys-at-law. It is safe to tell him what city you live in but you should wait to be any more specific than that until you have been chatting and exchanging emails for awhile.   Use only the tools provided by the dating service you belong to. Most offer chat and private email on their site. Do not give out your isp email address. If you must give out an email address make it a free one such as Hotmail or Yahoo. Your isp address is traceable for anyone who wants to go to the trouble.     When the time comes for you to have your first face-to-face, make that first meeting in a public place and during day light hours. Take a friend with you or arrange for one to call you on your cell soon after the arranged meeting.   Remember…you ARE in control so do not let anyone pressure you into revealing more personal information than you are comfortable with revealing.

 ************* How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?     With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.   Here are some things to consider:   (1) Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)? (2) Features. Which features are the most important to you? (A)                   Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself? (B)                    Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email. (C)                    Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that? (D)                   Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have? (E)Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?   These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.   




******* A Woman’s “Don’ts” of Online Dating     There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man.  These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.   While chatting online or by email do not write your life story.  His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair.  Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks.  For instance:  If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them.  He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has.  For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him.   Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.   Never, ever, EVER lie.  I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later.  Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles.  That is a huge mistake.  If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing.  So, just be honest.  There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are.   Don’t be too eager.  It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off.  They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest.  I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”.  I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting.  Don’t email them or IM them too frequently.  Play it safe and play it cool.        

Experimenting

For some time now, I have been buying fresh vegetables that I have never eaten before and using the web to learn how to cook them.  I am from the South and soul food is what I grew up on, but my mother would tell you that I was a really picky eater and didn't like most of it as a child.  As I got older and started to cook I branched out from the food that I grew up on, mostly because my family would take me out to the many great restaurants in Savannah, which exposed me to different foods. I started to like things such as asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower, and the likes, but one of my favorites is corn beef and cabbage.
I attended catholic schools in the south that was greatly influenced by the many Irish people that lived in Savannah.

 Upon moving to Tampa and now Los Angeles, I started to discover foods in the grocery store like none I had ever seen before.  In the beginning I would see different fruits and vegetables but still wouldn't buy them.  I would stick to what I knew or what I discovered in my many cook books.  Not knowing what I was missing.  It wasn't until I met my husband in Florida who was from Tanzania that I started to eat Jamaican and African foods.

 My daughter had fallen in love with Cuban food, which is much like what I was use to growing up and too heavy for my taste.  I started to like curry foods, aloe juice, yucca,and ginger beer.  It was not until I moved to Los Angeles, that I was introduced to East Indian cuisine, that was great and then Mediterranean food. This opened up my palette to all sort of seasonings and ways of buying and using herbs and seasonings.  It has really changed the way that I buy food.  Now I understand so much more about people who live in cities like Los Angeles and New York where there are so many diverse cultures. When I lived in New York, I lived on campus, but often times I would visit the families of my friends there and my aunt who lived in Queens, and they would shop at the market every couple of days for whatever it was that they were going to cook. 
Where I was from, you would shop every couple of weeks and stock up on what you needed, and when I got older I would shop once a month, and spend a few hundred dollars, only going back for dairy products in between.  We put the deep freezer to good use.  I also wasn't privy to such a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, and often times it was rather expensive to buy them. This is all coming together as I really discover what life is really about and how to live it to the fullest.  Something as simple as food also comes into play.  I know, seems like something so simple and the point is that it is really simple. We tend to make things more complicated than they have to be.  Food is simply to nourish the body. It is not to soothe the palette, the soul, the mind, or even the spirit, it is merely to nourish and maintain the health of the body.  When we discover that simple fact, we will look at food very differently as I have started to.

The City of Entertainment

With my 50th birthday only four days away, I received an email for a vacation package to Las Vegas, and since I had never been I decided to check it out. Most of Friday, I went back and forth from website to website trying to find the best deal to Las Vegas. LA City Tours has a bus tour that I thought would be fun, since I was going alone, but I was not too excited about the hotel that they were using. When I was reading through the reviews, there were none on the hotel itself, they were all about getting the best steak for the buck. Since I am not a steak lover, I was not impressed, so I decided to skip on that package.  My search continued.  Priceline, Jetblue Airlines, and US Airways all had pretty good packages for Las Vegas, with a choice of hotels. After researching the hotels, I decided on a package from Jetblue with the New York New York Hotel and Casino.  It was definitely the best value.

 Inside the hotel and casino is like a city, with street signs, coney island, coffee shops, even a rollercoaster. Since I love New York City, this was a great reminder for me. The room was nice and very comfortable. Park Avenue Deluxe w/ King Bed.




 I am telling that this place is huge with about 15 different places to eat all under one roof.

 Waking up here on my 50th birthday was fun. At first I thought that I was way out my league, because I am not a big party girl, but after walking the strip the next day, I felt nothing but amazement.

Most of that amazement was in the architecture and everything being bigger than life on the strip, a.k.a. Las Vegas Blvd. Even in the middle of the week the strip was jammed with people from every part of the globe.

I met two separate couples that flew to Vegas from Australia. For me this trip was mostly for discovery. discovering what everyone loves about Vegas. Now I didn't catch any of the shows or win any significant amount of money, but I did enjoy the atmosphere and some great food.



When I go back, yes I am going back, I will go to see a couple of shows and visit a few more fabulous restaurants. It would not be Vegas if you don't see at least one Elvis Impersonator Or two.









Monday, April 14, 2014

A Nightmare -The Dentist

Today was a pretty tough one after spending five hours at the dentist office.I was so ready to run out of there. I have never liked going to the dentist. For me it is almost as invasive as my gynecologist. I guess with the latter, I have come to expect it and am use to it, and it is usually pretty quick. However, when someone is in your head sticking and poking and prodding for five hours, you are ready for them to get the hell out. I don’t know anyone that likes the dentist, but I like it even less than most. I always associate a dentist with a construction worker. These days they do pretty much the same thing. Often times they build foundations to put a crown or a bridge or even an implant. Then they sit back and admire their work. They say things like, “that is a beautiful crown, it’s porcelain”, even before it is in your mouth. They use a great deal of tools for pushing things in the gums, in the teeth, around the teeth and for clean-up during and after their construction. Not too mention, they often times use a great deal of pressure to make things stay in place. We will not even talk about the DRILLING. Like I say, very much like a construction worker. One of the differences may be that a construction worker often times have a larger space, or parcel, to start his construction, when the dentist has a hole in the front of your face to go through, frequently forgetting that there are lips in front of those teeth. After they finish rubbing every instrument and cleaning device over them, you want to forget that the lips are there too. Sort of like building a small city in a gourd. It takes patience, precision, and if you are lucky, a gentle hand.